


Sick Daze

by WayWardWonderer



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Fever, Friendship, Gen, Help, Hurt, Protect, Treat, friends - Freeform, ill, injured, sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 06:02:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12475072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WayWardWonderer/pseuds/WayWardWonderer
Summary: After enduring their usual weekly experiment the MST3k crew has a new situation to handle: Joel Robinson is sick! Crow, Tom Servo and Gypsy do their best to help their ill friend but nothing is ever as simple as it should be when trapped aboard the Satellite of Love. Robots don't make the best doctors either! They only know what they see in the theatre. (sickfic / sick fic)





	Sick Daze

In the not too distant future...

Aboard the 'Satellite of Love' Joel Robinson and his four robot friends; Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo, Gypsy and Cambot, had just finished watching yet another stink-burger of a movie sent up to them by Dr. Clayton Forrester from the festering bowels of 'Deep 13'.

After enduring their latest cinematic sin the unorthodox family proceeded to go about their usual business. At least what was 'usual' for this rather unusual crew/family.

"Hey Servo!" Crow yelled at Tom, who was on the opposite side of the bridge quietly reading a Batman graphic novel to himself.

"What?" Tom yelled back just as loudly as Crow, without looking away from his beloved comic.

"Where's Joel? I can't find him anywhere, and I want a snack."

"Well, if he's not on the bridge then he's probably in the theater." He answered with great disinterest.

"Nope. Just checked."

"What about his cabin?"

"What about it?"

"Is Joel IN his cabin?"

"Oh, I dunno. Hey Cambot!" Crow turned to look at the silent observing robot who continuously filmed the group. "Is Joel in his cabin?"

Cambot, unable to offer an audible reply, nodded his entire camera body in the affirmative.

"Thanks!"

"Hey wait!" Tom finally closed his comic and looked over at Crow. "It's not even eight o'clock."

"So?" Crow answered dryly, showing the same disinterest as Tom.

"So..." Tom responded just as dryly. "Joel always stays up until after we go to bed. We're still up, so why isn't he?"

"I dunno."

"You're hopeless, Crow." Tom sighed unamused. "Something might be wrong with Joel, you moron!"

"Yeah, well, bite me Servo!"

Tom hovered over to Crow to 'walk' side by side with his companion as they journeyed down the lengthy corridor toward Joel's cabin. "Jump in my butt!"

"You don't have a butt!" Crow snipped quickly.

"Dink!"

"Dickweed!"

The robot duo stopped insulting each other once they reached the closed door that leads into Joel's private cabin. Crow knocked on the door with his long arm and golden claw. "Joel? Ya' in there?"

There was no reply from inside the room.

"Maybe he's not here after all." Tom suggested.

"Maybe he escaped..."

"Maybe he's hiding."

"Maybe he died!"

"Crow!" Tom sounded horrified by Crow's grim suggestion.

"What?"

"Don't say that! If Joel died then I'd be stuck with just you and Gypsy! How awful... For me."

"And Cambot." Crow replied unphased as he knocked on the door again. "Joel? Are ya' dead?"

"Crow!"

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?"

Joel opened the door to his cabin and looked down at his two robot companions waiting on the other side. He had unzipped his red jumpsuit from his chest to the black belt, exposing the white t-shirt beneath. The loose sleeves of his jumpsuit were tied around his waist like a second belt.

"What are you guys doing?" Joel spoke with a mild congestion as he ran his hand through his brown hair and sighed with heavy fatigue as he looked down at his childlike robot friends.

"Oh, there you are!" Crow looked up at Joel with mild surprise. "Hey, wait a minute. Joel, did you get... whiter?"

"Whiter?" Joel pondered the odd question given to him.

Tom looked up at Joel's pale complexion and noticed that something about Joel seemed a little off. "Were you working out or something? You're looking a little sweaty there pal."

"No, no." Joel coughed a little to clear his throat as he tried to ease his robots' concern. "Just feeling a little warm, that's all. Can I help you guys with something or did you forget how to play 'Ding-Dong Ditch'?"

"I want a snack!" Crow whined loudly like a temperamental child.

"No Crow." Joel leaned against the doorframe of his cabin door and partially closed his blue eyes. "It's too close to your bedtime, you won't be able to sleep."

"Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase?" Crow begged pathetically, as he hated the idea of being refused.

"Fine." Joel reluctantly caved in, but not entirely. "You can have something withOUT sugar."

"Pfft!" Crow scoffed at the very offer. "Forget it! What's the point of eating anything unless it's something with a criminal amount of processed sugar, loaded with preservatives or heavily caffeinated?"

"Okay, then you can go to bed without anything." Joel insisted using his 'dad voice' as leverage.

"No..." Crow submitted, know that Joel wouldn't give in. "I'd like an apple, please."

"Okay. Go ask Gypsy, she knows where they are." Joel then looked toward Tom. "Servo, do you need anything?"

"No. I'm good. Just making sure you weren't dead."

"Well, thanks. But as you can see I'm not."

"Right. Goodnight Joel!"

"Goodnight Servo. Goodnight Crow."

As Joel returned to his cabin to lay down, the two robots returned to the bridge of the satellite. While Tom resumed reading his comic Crow called out for Gypsy. "Hey Gypsy! Joel said you have to give us some cookies!"

"And some Yoohoo!" Tom quickly added.

"Yeah, and some Yoohoo, too!"

While they waited for Gypsy, Tom couldn't help but think about Joel. "Hey Crow, did Joel seem a little... I don't know... un-normal to you?"

"What is 'normal' anyway, Servo?" Crow looked around impatiently for Gypsy. "Gypsy! Come on! We're starving!"

"That's deep man. Deep. But seriously, Joel was acting like there was something wrong. Maybe it's his programming."

"Yeah, well, that's bound to happen when you're trapped in space all day and all night, with only the stinkiest of the poopiest movies to watch every week."

"Think he's okay?"

"Yeah, sure!"

Gypsy appeared on the bridge with a silver platter in her mouth. On the platter were two apples and two juice boxes. "Here you go." She dropped the platter on the desk in front of Crow and Tom.

"Hey! This isn't..."

"I know. Joel said to never believe a word either of you guys say just before bedtime."

"Aww..." Crow whimpered as realized that Joel was always one step ahead.

"Now," Gypsy continued. "eat and then go to bed."

"Or else what? Huh?" Crow never enjoyed being told what to do and loved confronting authority.

"You'll find out soon enough mister!" Gypsy rarely yelled, but when she did the bots knew better than to keep challenging her.

"Okay, I'll be good." Crow crouched down submissively as he took his apple and bit into it.

"Good." Gypsy left the bridge leaving Crow and Tom to their snack.

"Jeez, what a grouch." Crow mumbled toward Tom.

Through the door Gypsy yelled back at Crow. "I heard that!"

The next morning the robots walked onto the bridge only to find it uncharacteristically vacant, with no sign of Joel anywhere. Joel was always the first one awake and on the bridge, but that morning he was nowhere to be found. Again.

"Now where's Joel?" Crow and Tom were on the bridge, alone, and unhappy.

"Yeah." Tom agreed with Crow's impatient tone of voice. "Cambot, is Joel still asleep?"

Once again the little robot nodded in the affirmative.

"Hmm..."

"What?" Crow didn't like the way Tom was thinking. "'Hmm' what?"

"First Joel went to bed unusually early and now Joel is getting up unusually late. There must be something wrong, or 'unusual', with his programming! I knew it!"

"So... what are we supposed to do?"

"What else? Repair him!"

"Of course! It's all so simple!"

"Yes you are." Tom quipped perfectly. "Shall we?" He asked as he motioned toward the corridor leading to Joel's cabin.

"Let's be off!"

Crow and Tom returned to Joel's cabin but instead of knocking on the door they just let themselves inside. They were expecting to see Joel laying down on his bunk asleep, but instead they found him leaning against a wall with his shaky hand over his eyes. His pallor looked even paler than it had the night before, and his white t-shirt had sweat stains on the chest and under the arms.

"Joel?" Tom asked worriedly. "What's going on, buddy?"

"Servo?" Joel removed his hand from his eyes and focused his glassy, half opened blue eyes on the hovering robot just inside the door. He noticed Crow standing in the doorway as well. "What're you two doing now? What time is it?"

"We're checking on you!" Tom answered matter-of-factly. "Joel, we think you're in need of repair. Let us help you!"

"I don't need to be 'repaired'," Joel tried to reassure the robots as he put his hand weakly on Tom's shoulder. "I just need to-" Joel suddenly trailed off as the room began to spin around him and legs began to shake.

"To... what?" Tom asked, unaware of Joel's dizzy spell.

Using his hand to guide himself down the wall, Joel slowly lowered himself to the ground onto one knee. Tom descended to the ground at the same pace as Joel, keeping eye contact with his dear friend during the whole trip.

Crow stepped further into the large cabin, curious about Joel's odd behavior. "Maybe he needs to 'reboot'."

"Or enter 'sleep mode'." Tom suggested casually.

"Or upgrade his software."

"Maybe he needs to-"

From the doorway Gypsy interrupted the misinformed discussion. "He needs to rest!"

"Huh?" Crow and Tom turned in unison and looked at Gypsy as she entered the cabin.

"What do you mean 'rest'?" Crow inquired suspiciously.

Gypsy paused a few feet from Joel and quickly scanned his body.

Joel attempted to ease the robots' concerns again. "I'm fine." He forced himself to smile as he spoke. "I just have a headache and stood up too fast, that's all.

Gypsy didn't believe him. She leaned down and put her head under Joel's arm. Without protest she supported most of his weight as she slowly lifted him up from the ground back to his feet. "Joel's sick." She informed Tom and Crow as she continued to monitor Joel.

"'Sick'?" Crow was unfamiliar with that term. "What do you mean sick?"

"C'mon Crow," Tom was annoyed by Crow's repetitive ignorance. "remember a while back when we all had colds and we took some medicine that gave us unique flashbacks?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So... when we had colds, we were sick. That's what 'sick' is! Moron!"

"But what about when Joel said Gypsy was sick a few months before all that? You know, before your voice changed."

"What about her?"

"She kept coughing things up uncontrollably, like cotton and the extra you, but Joel isn't doing any of that. Thanks goodness..."

"He's not the same kind of sick as Gypsy was. He's a human, when he gets sick it's not like when we get sick."

"Oh." Crow looked at Joel who was still being supported upright by Gypsy. "Joel didn't look like that when he had a cold. He looks worse! What gives?"

"Maybe he looks worse because he has something other than a cold."

"Like... a super-cold?"

"Or the flu."

"Ah! If he has the flu I'm outta here!" Crow made his way toward the door in a blind panic. "Keep your germs to yourself Typhoid-Mary!"

Joel gently patted Gypsy's nose. "I'm fine Gypsy, I can stand." He pulled his arm back from Gypsy and stood alone on his shaky legs. "See?" He looked over at Crow. "And Crow, I don't have the flu, you can come back."

"Are ya' sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. It's safe." Joel suddenly paled even further and his legs buckled beneath him. He began to collapse and he couldn't stop himself.

"Joel!" Gypsy managed to catch Joel by his arm and gently guide him to the floor before he fell unconscious. "Oh my stars..."

"I'm okay!" Joel lied as he allowed Gypsy to help him to the stable ground. "I'm okay..." He closed his tired eyes.

Tom and Crow approached Joel as he laid half conscience on the floor, on his back, with Gypsy hovering over him.

"Joel?" Tom tried to get Joel's attention. "Are ya' still in there?"

Crow lifted Joel's limp hand high into the air and let it go, he watched as it fell heavily back to the floor with a thump. "He's not getting up. Is he?"

"Tom, Crow, help me." Gypsy used her strong coil body to lift Joel up by his arms and pull him toward his bunk. Crow and Tom helped put Joel's legs up on the bunk so he could comfortably lay flat on his back.

Joel proceeded to try and convince the robots that he was okay. "I'm fine, don't worry about it."

Crow stepped back from the bunk. "Great. Now what?"

"Now," Gypsy looked over at Crow. "we take care of Joel."

"We just did!"

"Crow!" She raised her voice again knowing that it always worked on him. "Go get some ice and a towel!"

"Alright, fine! So pushy sometimes..." Crow reluctantly left the cabin grumbling to himself. More embarrassed about being yelled at, than annoyed by having to help take care of Joel.

"Tom?"

"Yo."

"See if there's any medicine in the first aid kit."

"On it."

While Crow and Tom were off collecting the requested items Gypsy stayed at Joel's bedside. "Joel? Can you hear me?"

"Yeah, I can hear you." He opened his eyes partially. "I'm fine. I swear." Joel propped himself up on his elbows. "Don't worry about me. I need you to keep the satellite running smoothly."

"I will Joel."

"Good. Now, I need to make sure Tom and Crow are getting into mischief."

He tried to sit up completely but Gypsy shook her head 'no'. "Rest. I can handle those two." She pressed her nose against his chest to keep him from moving any further.

Joel let out an exhausted sigh and submitted to Gypsy's request. "Yeah, I know you can." He laid flat back on the bunk and closed his bloodshot blue eyes.

Tom returned to the room with the large emergency first aid kit draped around his neck by its long white sling. "Here ya' go." He plopped the case on the edge of Joel's bunk. "Wow Joel, you look like something Gamera chewed up!" Tom callously observed Joel's physical appearance.

Joel just chuckled at the odd comment, a small cough escaping at the same time.

"And you sound like something Gamera-"

"Got the ice!" Crow returned to the cabin with a large white bowl full of ice in his hands and a clean towel tucked away neatly in his net. "Now what?" He put the ice next to the first aid kit on the bunk. "Wow Joel, you look like you dragged around the track by a 'Sidehacker'!"

Opening one eye Joel just watched his robot friends surrounding him and his bunk.

"Shh!" Gypsy hushed the boys as she took the towel from Crow and draped it over the bowl of ice. She then proceeded to nose her way through the first aid kit. "Uh-oh, no medicine. Only bandages and rubbing alcohol. That's not good."

Crow pulled the bandages out of the kit and used them to wrap up Tom. "So what do we do?"

"Use the ice." Gypsy answered calmly. Taking the cooled towel from the bowl she draped it over Joel's forehead. "There."

Joel flinched at the cold sensation but only for a moment before he relaxed.

Gypsy turned back to Tom and Crow. "Now, you two-" She saw Tom had been wrapped up like a mummy thanks to Crow. "Crow! Don't do that!"

"Why? It's fun."

"Yeah Gypsy!" Tom agreed. "Why can't we have fun?"

"Because I need you guys to help me help Joel."

"That doesn't sound fun."

"It's not supposed to be."

"Well that sucks."

"Listen up," Gypsy took command of the ship since Joel was incapacitated. "I'll keep an eye on Joel for now. Crow you'll take the second watch in two hours. Tom, you take the third watch in four hours. Got it?"

"Got it!"

"Roger!" Crow was finally cooperating.

"Good. Now while I'm in here you two are going to have to take care of the manual functions on the ship."

"Awww..." The two robots whined in unison.

"Move it!" Gypsy wasn't playing around.

"Yeah, yeah..." Crow muttered. "we're moving..."

After Crow and Tom left the cabin Gypsy re-scanned Joel's body with her sensors. "You have a high temperature, Joel. Do you need anything?"

"No." He closed his eyes. "I'm okay."

"Okay. I'll be right here if you need anything."

"Okay." Joel opened one eye to look at her. "And Gypsy?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

During Gypsy's tentative watch Joel slept peacefully. It was fortunate that Joel became ill after the weekly experiment, not before or during. With six days to recover without the interruption and overall unwelcomed idiocy of Dr. Forrester or TV's Frank, Joel would be back to his usual laidback demeanor in no time.

Crow returned to Joel's cabin after two hours just as he had been requested. He walked into the room with a copy of 'TeenBot' in one hand and a bologna sandwich in the other. "Is he dead, yet?"

Despite having a single eye with only one setting, Gypsy managed to project an intimidating glare at Crow for his inappropriate question. She just shook her head 'no' and passed by Crow to exit the cabin as he entered. "Did you take care of the heat shields?" She asked over her 'shoulder'.

"Yes..." Crow replied with his usual immaturity at the serious question.

"Good. Now Crow, remember, he needs to rest." She turned around to look at him one last time from the doorway. "So don't bug him!"

"Oh, I won't..." Crow answered sheepishly as he approached Joel's sleeping form on the bunk. He pulled a marker out of his beak and laughed wickedly to himself.

Gypsy poked her head back into the cabin doorway quickly with one last order. "And don't draw on him either!"

"Awww..." Crow tossed the black Sharpie he had snuck in with him across the room. "Lame!"

Crow finished eating his sandwich and reading his magazine quietly at the foot of Joel's bunk. After he dropped the magazine on the floor he looked over at his sleeping friend, still unsure of what it meant for a human to be sick. He understood that at night Joel would enter a type of 'sleep mode' just as Tom, Gypsy and he would do; but he couldn't understand why Joel needed to be asleep during the day, or why they needed to watch over him while he slept.

"Joel?" Crow whispered gently.

Joel didn't budge.

Crow lightly crawled up the bed toward Joel's face, stopping at his torso. "Joel?"

Again Joel remained silent.

He crawled closer to Joel's face, stopping at his chest and careful not to kneel on Joel's arm draped across his torso. "Joel?" He asked a little louder.

This time Joel seemed to hear Crow speaking to him. He responded by turning his head slightly against his pillow, the once cold towel slipping away from his forehead in the process.

Crow crawled up on top of Joel's chest and put his beak just millimeters from Joel's nose. He could feel intense heat radiating from Joel's body and he could see exactly how pale Joel's pallor had become thanks to the unexpected illness. The fine sheen of sweat from the night before had soaked through Joel's white t-shirt creating noticeable damp patches on Joel's chest and under his arms, running a little ways down the sides of his ribcage. Small beads of sweat were running down Joel's face.

Taking in a deep breath and focusing his black, diamond shaped eyes on Joel's closed eyes Crow uttered a single, loud question. "Joel?"

Joel sensed someone was with him, he suddenly opened his blue eyes and immediately saw a golden face staring directly into his own. He let out a startled "Gah!" as he quickly sat upright knocking Crow off his chest and onto his lap in the process. "Crow?"

"Hi Joel."

"Da' hell? Crow, what are you doing?" He rubbed at his tired eyes, the pressure from his sinuses causing his mild headache to increase in severity.

"I'm watching you sleep." Crow sat himself upright on Joel's lap. "You're weird."

"I'm weird?"

"Yeah, and there's alot of heat coming off of you. Are overheating Joel? That's not good for your software, you know? It can corrupt your memory."

Joel pressed the back of hand to his own forehead. "I told you last night I was a little warm."

"This isn't 'warm' Joel, this is molten."

"I'm not that hot. Stop being so dramatic."

"Pretty close though." Crow persisted.

"Not really." He laid back down on his bunk. "So, what's been happening while I was asleep?"

"Nothing to worry about." Crow climbed off Joel's lap and sat next to him on the edge of the bunk. "I took care of the heat shields. Tom's been monitoring the oxygen / nitrogen levels, and Gypsy's been watching over you."

"No calls from the 'Mads,' or random aliens or movies monsters on the hexfield screen, or any of the other bizarre shenanigans we usually deal with?"

"Nope. Oh wait... Yeah, no. Nothing's happening."

"Good." He draped his arm over his eyes. "I'm a little thirsty. Could you please bring me some water?"

"No." Crow replied firmly.

Joel lifted his arm up from his eyes and looked down at Crow. "Why not?"

"'Cuz I have to watch you. Gypsy said so. She's in command while you're asleep."

"But I'm in command of the ship the rest of the time, and now I'm awake, so please get me some water."

"What's in it for me?"

Joel sighed and dropped his arm back down over his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Hm, what do I want? That's a very interesting question..."

"Crow? Please behave. I'm not feeling well and Gypsy already has enough to do."

"Okay, okay. I'll get you your water, if I can have some cookies."

"You can have two cookies."

"Two?"

"Two. And if you're good for Gypsy, you can have two more."

"Deal!" Crow jumped off the bunk and made his way for the cabin door in gleeful rush.

Joel looked at the analog clock ticking away on the far wall. "This is going to be a long day..." His headache was making him feel even worse.

Crow returned to the cabin with a mug of water in one hand, a cookie in the other and the second cookie already lodged in his beak. He readily handed the water to Joel. "Here ya' go, pal."

"Thanks." Joel sat up to tentatively sip the water. He then placed the mug on the small table next to his bunk and laid back. "I'm going to sleep some more."

"Okay." Crow bit into the second cookie. "I'll stand guard."

"Alright Crow..." Tom Servo hovered into Joel's cabin with a cliché doctor's medical bag tucked under his arm, a stethoscope around his neck and small reflector taped to the front of his dome. "The doctor's in. Tag out!"

"'Bout time!" Crow grumbled as he crawled off the edge of the bunk. "Joel-sitting is so boring! He won't even talk to me. All he does is sleep and randomly do that coughing thing from time to time."

"Coughing, eh?" Tom hovered up onto the bunk next to Joel and stared at him curiously. "Let the doctor take care of things."

Crow wasn't impressed with Servo's demeanor. "Good. He's starting to gross me out."

"Yeah, get out you vulture!"

"I'm gone!" Crow marched out of the cabin, the door shutting closed behind him.

Tom pulled a blank chart from the bag and looked it over. "Alright, Mister... Uh, Joel is it? Oh wait, that's your first name! Mr. Robinson. Can I call ya' Joel anyway?"

Joel, who was unaware of Crow's recent departure and Tom's arrival, remained silent as he continued dozing peacefully on the bunk.

"Strong, silent type, huh?" Tom tossed the chart from his tiny white hands onto the floor behind him. "Good. I don't like alot of questions." He put the stethoscope in place where his ears were programed, and lightly balanced on Joel's torso. "Let's see what's going on..." He put the bell of the stethoscope on Joel's chest, just as he had seen doctor's do in movies. "GAAAHHH!"

"AHHH!" Joel was startled awake by Tom's needless scream of terror. He shot upright on his bunk and sent Tom flying off his torso and across the room in the process. "What?! What's going on?!" He looked around his cabin confused until he saw Tom reposition himself upright on the floor, shake his head and then hover back onto the bunk. "Servo? What's wrong?"

"You! You're wrong!" Tom sounded genuinely afraid. "I heard it!"

"Heard what?" Joel was beginning to sound scared as well.

"It was this loud, rhythmic thumping sound and it was coming from inside your chest! I think it's angry..."

"Whaaaat?" Joel leaned back on the bunk and rubbed at his tired eyes with his hand, clearly irritated by this 'innocent misunderstanding'. "Are you serious?"

"Very! Joel, there's something inside your body and it wants out! Is it a Xenomorph? Were you making out with a facehugger when we weren't looking?! Answer me young man!"

"No, Servo. I wasn't making out with a facehugger, and it's not a Xenomorph."

"Oh. Good. Then what is it?"

"My heart." He answered flatly and matter-of-factly.

"Your 'heart'? Hey, I've heard of those. Is it broken?"

"No." Joel had to chuckle at the odd question. "A 'broken heart' is just a figure of speech. My heart's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Joel patted Tom's shoulder. "That rhythmic thumping is the sound of my heart beating. It's supposed to do that. It means I'm alive."

"Sounds weird. You're weird. All humans are weird!" Tom sounded more indignant than afraid.

"You have a heartbeat too, you know." Joel noticed the stethoscope around Tom's neck and took it for himself.

"WHAT?!"

"It's true." Joel slipped on the stethoscope and placed the bell on Tom's body, looking for the elusive beat. "And... there it is."

"What?"

"Your heartbeat."

"Liar!"

"Here. Listen." Joel placed the earbuds of the stethoscope back over Tom's dome, while he held the bell in place on Tom's body.

"Say... That's kinda catchy! I like it!" He started doing a little dance to the rhythm of his own heart. "Doesn't sound like yours though. It's not as fast."

"Well, you're not sick and didn't have the hell scared out of you."

"I'm not as pale either."

"Again... I'm sick."

"Or sweaty."

"Because I'm sick."

"Or hot."

"Once again, I'm sick. Everything unusual about me right now is happening because I'm sick." He leaned back completely on the bunk until he was laying flat. "Hey, where'd you get that stethoscope anyway?"

"This? Oh, I found it when I was snooping around the emergency bunker. Turns out there's alot of useful stuff in there!"

"Yeah, that's why it's in the emergency bunker." He coughed a little. "I thought Gypsy already knew about the second first aid kit stored in there."

"She did. But she asked me to bring the emergency first aid kit without specifying which one."

"Oh."

"Anyway," Tom proceeded to dig through the doctor's bag. "let's finish the exam. I have another appointment in two hours."

"Another appointment?" Joel arched his eyebrow. "With who?"

"Never you mind 'who'! Doctor-patient confidentiality!" He snapped after getting too deep into his character. Again. "Now, lay back and be quiet. Let the doctor do his work."

"Sorry. Proceed 'Dr. Servo'." He played along.

"Thank you." Tom had pulled out a thermometer, blood pressure cuff, bandages and tongue depressor from the bag. He looked over the items carefully but had no idea what they were or how to use them. "Uh... hm..." He focused on the blood pressure cuff. "What's this do-hickey for?"

"That's for checking a human's blood pressure, but I don't think we need to worry about that." He put the cuff back in the bag.

"And this?" Tom picked out the tongue depressor.

"For checking a human's throat. Unnecessary, too."

"Good! I don't want to look down your throat." He then picked out the thermometer. "And this?"

"Used to measure a human's body temperature. This could be useful." Joel took the glass device and placed it in his mouth, which slurred his following words. "Nahw wait fohr whun minute to theck it."

"What? It's hard to understand you with that glass stick in your mouth."

"I thaid..." Joel removed the thermometer for a moment. "wait for one minute and you'll be able to read my temperature." He replaced the device between his teeth.

"Oh. Why didn't you say so?"

"I thid."

"You 'thid' not!" Tom teased. "And these bandages?" Joel waved his hands dismissively. "Cool. Hey, being a doctor is easy!"

Joel tried to relax as much as possible but he was uncomfortable with the thermometer under his tongue and with Tom literally hovering over him. He looked at the analog clock on the wall and waited for a minute to pass.

"Okay!" Tom retrieved the thermometer from Joel's mouth. "Time's up. Let's see what we have here... Huh, on the 'F' side it says '102.7'. Is that high or low?"

"Let me see that." Joel double checked the reading. "It's higher than normal."

"What's your normal temperature Joel?"

"The accepted universal normal temperature for humans is '98.6' degrees Fahrenheit."

"What about me or Crow or Gypsy?"

"I programmed you all to have 'vital functions' similar to that of a human. So, 98.6 degrees, too."

"Oh." Tom looked around the cabin in an disinterested manner. "So, what do we do now?"

"Well, I'd like to sleep some more."

"Again? Geez Joel, are you hibernating or practicing for a coma!"

Joel placed the doctor bag and all its contents onto the floor next to his bunk. "Resting is the best way to recover from illness." He draped his arm over his eyes again to block out as much light as possible. "Think you could write me a prescription for 'sleep' there Dr. Servo?"

"Of course, sleep!" He quietly moved down the foot of the bunk. "It's so obvious, why didn't I think of it sooner!"

"Tom?" Joel had replaced the fallen compress back to his forehead.

"Yes Joel?"

"It's hard to sleep when you keep talking there, buddy."

"Right, sorry. I'll be quiet."

"Thanks."

"But, one last thing."

"What's that?" He lifted his arm and looked at Tom again.

"You're absolutely sure you're not gestating a genocidal alien fetus in your chest?"

"Yes Tom."

"Good. Just checking."

"I appreciate it."

"Good night Joel."

"Good night Tom."

Tom hovered curiously over Joel as he slept in somewhat fitful state on the bunk. Joel seemed to be feeling worse than before, but never once complained about how bad he felt to either Crow or Tom. He didn't want his friends to worry about him.

After the two hours of Tom's watch over Joel passed by uneventfully, Gypsy returned to the cabin with a fresh bowl of ice in her mouth and clean towel draped over her coil body. She put the bowl down on the floor next to the bunk. "It's okay Tom, I'll watch him now."

"Hey Gypsy," Tom was puzzled by the behavior exhibited by the sick human. "how long will it take before Joel's better?"

"I don't know. Why?" She was now positioned next the bunk near Tom and was also hovering over Joel.

"He's kinda' annoying when he's sick. All he does is sleep and sweat and twitch and sometimes make that coughing noise. I hate that!"

"Huh..." Gypsy silently rescanned Joel's body. "I'll take care of it. Go check on the oxygen sensors again, please."

"Only if I can have a cookie!"

"Okay." She answered without paying too much attention to the question. "Don't let Crow see it."

"Yay! Cookie!" Tom quickly hovered out of the cabin leaving Gypsy alone with Joel.

Gypsy watched as Joel's head gently lolled from side to side against his pillow as he slept. His face was at least two shades paler with fever induced redness under his eyes. His white shirt was drenched in his own sweat and he seemed to be muttering to someone in his sleep.

"Joel?" She asked gently. When he didn't respond she pressed her nose against the side of his face, almost nuzzling him. "Joel?"

Joel partially opened his eyes and slowly focused on Gypsy. The blue in his eyes took on a more intense shade in contrast to the bloodshot fever strain that surrounded them. "Gypsy?" He lifted his hand and placed it lightly on her nose.

"I'm here."

"Hi..." He closed his eyes and quickly fell back asleep, his hand falling limp back onto the bunk at his side.

"Oh my stars!" She took the towel from her coil and placed several ice cubes onto the fabric. She did her best to bundle it up as functional compress before she carefully draped the cooled towel over Joel's warm forehead. Joel flinched at the sudden cold sensation for only a moment before he relaxed in his sleep and let out a deep sigh. "You're a mess, but it's okay, Gypsy's here."

As the acting commander and nurturing 'big sister' on the Satellite of Love, Gypsy decided to remain at Joel's side until he recovered. She coiled up her body like a snake next to the bunk and rested her head on Joel's chest as he slept. He coughed once, very hard and startled Gypsy. After he settled down she gently placed her head back on his chest. "Oh, feel better soon."

"Hey Servo! Where'd you get the cookie?" Crow was on the bridge with his ant farm and a magnifying glass. "I want one!"

"Gypsy said I could have one. She also said not to show you, but too late!" Tom was practically waving the cookie in Crow's face. "It's really tasty, too!"

"Let me have a bite!"

"No!"

"Just a little one!"

"No!"

"A crumb?"

"Um, let me think about it... No!"

"Jerk!"

"Dingus!"

"Dink!"

"Dickweed!"

From above 'Magic Voice' intervened on the argument. "Tom, Crow, are you two playing nice?"

"Yes..." They lied in unison.

"You two don't need Joel or Gypsy to come check on you, do you?"

"No..." They lied again.

Crow had an idea. "We're bored Magic Voice! Joel isn't here to play with us... will you?"

"Why don't you play a nice game, together?"

"Like what?" Crow asked dryly.

"Go-fish?" Magic Voice suggested.

"Gypsy ate half the cards!"

"What about your 'Lite Bright'?"

Tom answered this time. "The light bulb burned out!"

"What happened to the 'Creepy Crawler' machine?"

"We ran out of 'goop'!" Crow blurted.

"Hide n' seek?"

"There's nowhere to hide, we found all the good spots already..."

"Maybe you two should take a nap."

"Nooo!" They whined in unison.

Tom continued with, "We don't wanna take a nap!"

"Why don't you go check on Joel?"

"Huh..." Crow pondered the idea. "I wonder if he's better yet?"

"Doubt it." Tom answered Crow flatly. "He was looking pretty rough when I left."

"Really? Cool! I wanna see!"

"Okay!"

Crow and Tom left the bridge together and made their way back down the long corridor that lead to Joel's private cabin. They stood outside the closed door side by side once again.

"Think we should knock?" Tom asked his companion.

"Nah! Joel loves us!" Crow answered quickly as he walked into the cabin unannounced.

Tom followed close behind Crow. Both he and Crow were a little surprised to see Gypsy curled up next to the bunk. "Hey Gypsy, what's going on?"

"Oh, hi Tom. Hi Crow." She lifted her head slightly and turned to look at them. "What're you guys doing now?"

"Checking on Joel." Crow walked over to the bunk and looked at Joel's face. "Eww! Gross! He's got that weird patch of fur growing on his chin again! What's the matter with him?"

"He's sick!" Gypsy defended.

"I know that, but it's no excuse for poor hygiene!"

"Shush!" Gypsy turned back toward Joel. "He needs to rest, don't disturb him."

"Disturb him? I hate to break it to ya' there Gypsy, but if he wasn't already disturbed when he got launched into space, he was after he built us!"

Tom startled chuckling. "He makes a valid point."

"Quiet now." Gypsy didn't want to raise her voice and wake Joel. "The more sleep he gets the faster he'll get better." She adjusted the towel over his forehead. "He's really hot, I don't want him to overheat so don't get him excited."

"Yeah," Tom butted back in. "no one likes overcooked chicken!"

"Gross! I'd rather eat overcooked chicken than undercooked!"

"Shh! I mean it!" Gypsy turned her attention directly at Tom and Crow. "If you guys aren't quiet then I'll have to throw you out!"

"I dare-"

"Shut it Crow!" Tom stopped his companion short. "She isn't bluffing. Remember she can throw far and hard!"

Crow looked at Tom, then to Gypsy, back to Tom and finally on Joel. "So... can we help?"

Gypsy shook her head 'no'. "I have things under control. Just take care of the ship while I'm taking care of Joel."

Silently Crow and Tom left Joel's cabin together. As soon as the door shut behind them Crow freely spoke his mind again. "Geez, what a couple of control freaks!"

"I dunno Crow, I've never seen Joel look like that before. I think it might be serious."

"Nah! You know Gypsy, she can be such a drama queen!"

"Yeah... wait! No she isn't!" Tom only needed a moment to reflect on Gypsy's overall personality. "Gypsy never gets bent out of shape unless things get bad. Joel really is sick!"

"Well, what're we supposed to do about it? We're not doctors." Tom was about to say something when Crow cut him off. "I mean real doctors!"

"Oh, right. Guess we can't do much except help Gypsy."

"Or..." Crow paused in the corridor as an interesting though popped in his devious little mind. "Didn't Gypsy say something about Joel needing 'medicine'?"

"Yeah. What of it?"

"Let's find some medicine! Or we could make some!"

"Yeah! Wait, how? We don't know anything about human physiology, biology or medicine. What can we do?"

Crow put his hand on Tom's shoulder. "Servo my simple little friend, sometimes you can be so dense it makes me wanna hurl."

"Hey!" Tom pulled away from Crow. "And don't touch me!" He paused a moment before the intrigue of Crow's suggestion was too tantalizing to resist. "What did you have in mind anyway?"

"Gypsy can synthesize raw material for Joel on command, right?"

"Yeah, but only if the material in question is already registered in her databank."

"Right! All we have to do is figure out the ingredients for some medicine, upload it into Gypsy's databank, and 'Poof!': Medicine for Joel!"

"Crow that's genius!"

"Thank you!"

"I'm seriously impressed!"

"Thank you again."

"It's almost like you actually have a partially functional brain!"

"Tha- Hey!"

"All this time I thought you were a mindless automaton who moved about on sporadic reflexes alone."

"Watch it, Servo..."

"But you have proven me wrong. On this day I have come to know you as semi-competent robot who could in fact find his own butt with both hands and a flashlight!"

"That's it!" Crow lunged at Tom and tackled him to the floor.

"Alright, let's go baby!" Tom didn't back down from the fight. "Be warned Crow, I must break you!"

"Bring it on bubble-brain!"

Back in Joel's cabin he continued sleep, remaining completely oblivious to the events transpiring on the Satellite.

Gypsy could feel Joel's fever growing worse. She took the first towel that Crow had brought into the cabin earlier and wrapped the rest of the ice in the white fabric. With incredible gentleness Gypsy draped the second icy towel over Joel's chest.

She watched as he began to shiver from the mounting cold. Joel tried wrapping his arms around himself but touching the ice only made him feel colder.

"I can help." Gypsy grabbed the blanket that was at the foot of the bunk and dragged it up and draped it over his legs and torso. "There."

Joel stopped shivering and seemed to rest easier.

The cabin door opened abruptly and in walked Crow and Tom, again. Crow was missing an eye, his net was crooked, one arm fell out of its socket and he had small dents all over his beak. Tom's dome was cracked, his hoverskirt tarnished and his spring arms were pulled beyond their elasticity.

Gypsy took one look at them and got scared. "Oh my! What happened to you two?!"

"Huh?" Tom looked at Crow and then checked himself over. "Oh, this. This is the end result of creative collaboration."

"Right!" Crow chimed in. "We have the solution to Joel's problem. Leave it to us Gypsy!"

"Whatdya' mean leave it to you?" Gypsy asked with great confusion and worry in her falsetto voice. "What are you two up to?"

"Relax Gypsy." Crow tried to ease her concern. "Servo and I have a plan. We're going to make Joel some medicine."

Tom joined in. "And you're going to help!"

"How?" Gypsy didn't understand their plan. "What can I do?"

"Easy, just let us load some new data into your databanks and-"

"Nuh-uh! No way mister!" Gypsy adamantly opposed the idea of those two tinkering with her programming. "You're not getting anywhere near my databank!"

"C'mon Gypsy! Be a good sport will ya'? It's for Joel!"

"Yeah!" Tom joined in again. "We wouldn't be doing this if there wasn't a good reason. And isn't Joel the best reason there is?"

"Well..." She looked back at Joel who was still sleeping, if not unconscious, on the bunk behind her. "I guess so... But!" She wasn't going to let Crow or Tom attempt any crude or hasty data entries. "I'm going to handle any and all reprogramming, got it?"

"Got it!" Crow and Tom answered in unison.

"Good. Now, how do we make some medicine?"

"Simple." Crow answered arrogantly. "Just upload the raw ingredients used to manufacture the medicine, combine the ingredients in their proper amount and do that item synthesizing you do so well!"

"Right!" Gypsy made her way toward the cabin door. "While I'm gone you two watch Joel. He's getting worse and I don't want him to be alone!"

"Roger." Crow walked back toward the bunk and stared at Joel's face. "Blegh! I hope he doesn't stay this pasty forever!"

Gypsy just shook her head in silent annoyance as she left the cabin. Tom hovered onto the bunk and sat at Joel's side. "Wow, he's really sweaty. How come we don't sweat?"

"We have better genes." Crow figured.

"True. We do have some damn fine genes." Tom looked closer at Joel's face. "How come we don't sprout little hairs on our chins?"

"Because we don't know how to shave."

"Oh, right! Right..." Tom got even closer to Joel's face. "How come we don't change colors when we're sick?"

"Because we're not stupid humans."

"That's it! That's the answer right there. Good thing too, otherwise we'd probably be just as sick as Joel."

"Yeah, and we're too pretty to look that rough! It'd be a crime against nature."

"Yeah."

"Yeah..." Crow and Tom looked at each other in awkward silence before Crow had another idea. "Wanna draw on him?"

"Hell yeah!" Tom began giggling mischievously.

Crow found his discarded black Sharpie near the wall in the cabin. "Got it!"

"This is going to be so great! What should we draw first?"

"I'm going to draw a sailboat."

"Where?"

"I dunno, his face is too small for a sailboat."

"How about his back?"

"I'm not flipping him over!"

"Tummy?"

"Perfect!"

Just as Crow put his claw at the hem of Joel's shirt Gypsy returned to the cabin. "Finished uploading to the databank."

"GAH!" Crow was startled by Gypsy's return. During his fright he flung the uncapped Sharpie across the room, the black marker brushing past Gypsy's nose, leaving a think black line across her lips, as it flew through the air. Crow turned at looked at her as she entered the cabin. "Don't DO that!"

Gypsy shook her head from the brief impact from the marker. "Crow!"

"It was an accident! Don't hit or yell! Please..."

"Later!" She snarked at Crow as she approached the bunk. "First we help Joel."

"So..." Tom didn't like the tension in the room. "where's the medicine?"

"Still being processed. It'll take a few minutes to synthesize properly." Gypsy answered as she resumed hovering over Joel. "How's he doing?"

"The same." Tom answered flatly. "Sweating and sleeping. At least he's not doing that coughing thing. Man I hate that!"

Joel continued sleeping on the bunk, remaining unaware of the three robots trying to tend to his sickly needs. The ice had begun to melt and was dripping over his face and down his shirt.

"Oops..." Gypsy noticed the leaking icy water. "Need another towel."

"On it!" Crow took the opportunity to get on Gypsy's good side again, while hiding the Sharpie from her sight. He swiftly slipped out the cabin door.

"Oh, synthetic process complete." Gypsy announced happily. She opened her mouth and a plastic bottle of white pills fell onto the bunk next to Joel. "There!

"Ew!" Tom hated it when Gypsy 'spit' things up. "At least they're all contained in a bottle." He tried to open the bottle but his in operable hands prevented him from securing a strong grip. "Ah, poop! We need Crow!"

"You rang?" Crow responded in a deep voice as he walked back into the cabin with a towel in his hands.

"We need your hands to open the bottle."

"Sure, no problem. It's not like I have better things to do..."

"Crow!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." Crow tossed the towel at Gypsy, it landed across her face covering her eye. "Give it here." He easily popped open the safety cap on the bottle and poured some of the pills on the bunk. "Now what?"

"What do you mean 'now what?'" Tom asked. "We give the pills to Joel."

"But how?"

"Oh." He looked at Joel's sleeping face. "I bet if we put some in a piece of cheese he'd eat it."

"What if we put some in his mouth and plugged his nose?"

"Or rubbed his throat?"

"Or-"

Gypsy stopped the discussion short. "Don't you even try! Just wake him up."

"Pfft, take all the fun out of it." Crow looked down at Joel. He put his claw on Joel's chest and shook. "Alright, wakey wakey!"

Joel didn't move, he stayed asleep.

"Joel?" Crow asked loudly.

Tom joined in. "Joel?"

"Joel?"

"Joel?"

"Alright, this is getting us nowhere. New plan!" Crow bit Joel's arm.

"Ouch..." Joel slowly opened his eyes and looked at his arm that was still lodged in Crow's beak. "What the heck are you doing?"

Crow released Joel's arm. "Biting you."

"Why?" He rubbed at his sore arm.

Tom answered. "You wouldn't wake up."

"But I need to sleep."

"And you need to take some medicine."

"Medicine?" Joel rubbed at his tired eyes and tossed the melting compress from his forehead. "I thought there wasn't any onboard."

"Gypsy made some."

"Oh." He looked up at Gypsy. "I didn't know you could do that."

"I just learned!"

"Oh."

Crow pushed some pills toward Joel. "Here, down the hatch!"

With poorly coordinated, shaky fingers Joel picked up two pills and popped them in his mouth. He noticed the three robots all staring at him with intense focus as he took the pills. "What?

"Are ya' better yet?"

"No."

"Maybe you should take some more!"

"Or we wait until these pills have time to take effect."

"We have to wait some more?" Crow whined. "Humans are so lazy!"

"Not on purpose. At least not when we're sick."

"Yeah, sure. Excuses, excuses..."

"Guys?"

"Yes?" Tom and Crow answered together.

"Can you please let me alone to sleep?"

"Aw, come on!" Tom was whining now. "Don't abandon us Joel!"

"I'm not, I just... I just need to rest, that's all."

Crow, Tom and Gypsy all let out disappointed sighs.

"Look..." Joel felt a little guilty for being forced to neglect them while ill. "As soon as I'm better I'll make it up to all of you. I promise!"

Tom looked at Joel and leaned toward his face. "Can we have pizza for breakfast?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Yay! Pizza!"

"And..." Crow added. "Shave your face?"

Joel rubbed his chin and nodded slowly. "Now... If you wouldn't mind?"

"Oh, right. Sorry!" Tom hovered off the bunk. "Let's move Crow."

"Yeah, I'm outta here."

The two bots left the cabin, Tom was excited about pizza while Crow was still bitter about Joel not instantly recovering.

"Hey Gypsy?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Everything."

The next morning Gypsy was as usual maintaining the higher functions onboard the satellite, and was nowhere to be seen as she maneuvered through each deck in the scaffolding and special walkways constructed just for her.

Crow and Tom were standing on the bridge of the satellite together with Cambot observing and recording. Tom was looking through the latest issue of 'TeenBot' while Crow was snacking on a giant peanut butter sandwich. Crow looked over at Tom and stared for a minutes while making annoying 'smacking' sounds as he ate his sandwich.

Tom looked over at Crow, annoyed by the constant and intentionally irritating noise. "Can I help you with something?"

"Nope." Crow continued eating his sandwich and making annoying sounds as he chewed.

"Crow..."

"Yes?" He replied fiendishly.

"Stop. Making. Noise."

"What noise?" He teasingly smacked his beak again.

"That noise!"

"What? You mean this?" He smacked again.

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"It's annoying, that's WHY!"

"Oh." Crow of course smacked again. "Sorry."

"STOP IT."

"What?"

"You know-" Tom stopped himself and decided to try a new tactic. "You know what, never mind. Keep it up. I like it."

"Really? I think it's annoying."

"Why you..." Tom put aside his magazine and approached Crow ready to fight again.

"Hey, want to go check on Joel?" Crow tried to distract Tom.

"Are you going to stop eating your sandwich?"

"Sure. It's gone anyway."

"Crow, sometimes I just want to-"

"Hey! What's going on?" Joel walked onto the bridge and instantly picked up on the anger in Tom's voice. He used his 'dad-voice' to ease the tension between the bickering 'brother' robots.

"Joel!" Tom forgot all about Crow when he saw Joel arrive. "You're better!"

"In a way, yeah, I feel great." Joel was back to his usual self. He was fresh from the shower, clean shaven, bejumpsuited and his complexion was bright and cheery again. "The medicine is tacking care of my symptoms so I don't look sick anymore, but I am recovering."

"Thank God! If I had to be alone with Crow for one more second-"

"Hey, come on now." Joel stood between Tom and Crow, he placed his hands on their shoulders. "You two need to learn to get along without me around."

"I would," Tom continued. "if Crow wasn't so damn annoying!"

"At least I'm not a kiss ass!"

"Crow..." Joel used his 'dad voice' again. "Watch it."

"Sorry." He looked away momentarily embarrassed. "So, the medicine really helped, huh?"

"Sure did." Joel warmly patted their shoulders. "Thanks guys, you really came through for me."

"Aw, well, you know..."

"Seriously, what would I do without you guys? You're the best!"

"Well, you'd probably go insane from isolation and be living in the engine room surrounded by shredded newspaper ads that had been crudely glued to the walls to act as your crazy-guy nest."

Joel playfully pushed Crow while laughing. "Oh, thanks! Nice to know you have so much faith in my sanity."

"He might be right Joel." Tom agreed. "I doubt if you would be able to handle the extreme loneliness of being stranded. After all, humans are naturally inclined to live in groups, hence all the densely populated cities back on Earth."

"Fair enough." Joel conceded to their logic. "So, what did I miss while I was sick?"

"Nothing much." Crow answered dryly. "Gypsy bossed us around, the ship maintained its geosynchronous orbit and we had cookies. Typical day onboard the good ol' S.o.L. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I have this vague memory or perhaps it was a dream, about you Crow, and something to do with a sailboat."

"A sailboat, huh? Interesting..." Crow turned away from Joel.

"Yeah, and this morning I found this dried out Sharpie on the floor of my cabin." He pulled the marker out of his jumpsuit pocket and showed it to the robots.

"Still interesting..."

"And I noticed that Gypsy had a smudge of black marker on her nose, too."

"So?! Maybe Gypsy wanted to try wearing a mustache! What are you implying Joel?!" Crow blurted feeling guilty.

"Nothing." He tossed the marker casually over his shoulder. "Just letting you know that I was aware out you wanting to draw on my body while I was sick."

Tom looked over at Crow. "Ha ha! Busted!"

"Shut up Servo!"

"Make me goldilocks!" Tom lunged toward Crow.

Joel pushed the robots apart again. "Hey, hey... Come on now, no more fighting. Please."

"Okay, fine."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

"Hey, I have an idea." Joel smiled deviously.

"What's that?" Crow asked curiously.

Tom took the bait. "Did you have something fun in mind?"

Joel nodded. "Yup, this'll be great. Let's crank call the Mads!"

**-The End**


End file.
